Trying to Matter

Even when thoughts remain silent or confused, I’m still left with a persistent inner tug, to try and do something that matters.

It isn’t verbal, and it doesn’t come with instructions; I’m not even sure what mattering looks like exactly. But it’s a hard feeling to ignore. When I’m reading the news, or fixing a software bug, or designing a logo, or writing an email, the questions return… does this matter? Could it matter? What would matter?

I rarely have answers. I try to make sense of my actions, to visualize their consequence in the world, but paths of cause and effect are complex, my vision is limited, and no matter how much you learn, much of the world is inherently unpredictable.

So the most I can ever really say I’m doing, is trying.

To matter.

I hope that’s enough.

From Matt Huebert.